


Holding Back

by Zoadgo



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fingering, Oral Sex, Princess Mechanic, Scissoring, pretty much just smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 11:11:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoadgo/pseuds/Zoadgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the smoking shed goes up in flames, it's not the only structure in the camp to burn. Many of the delinquents end up having to share their tents while the chaos gets sorted out. Clarke ends up letting Raven bunk with her, and her feelings towards her friend quickly start to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheWildOne1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWildOne1/gifts).



Clarke hangs her head at the end of the day, carefully not putting her hands on her face. They’re blackened with soot, stinging from the burns she’s picked up fighting fires for the last few hours. The smoking shed had gone up in flames due to one of the delinquent’s idiocy, and it had quickly spread to surrounding tents. Thankfully they managed to limit the damage, but it was still a terrible incident. Clarke wants nothing more than to go back to her thankfully still standing tent and go to sleep. But, as one of the leaders, she can’t do that until the issue of many tents having been burned down is sorted out.

“Clarke.” She hears Bellamy’s rough voice behind her and pushes her exhaustion and emotions to the side for now. She has to be strong, or else everything will fall apart more than it already has.

“How many tents did we lose?” She turns to Bellamy, noting several burns on his forearms. None serious enough for medical attention other than running some water over them, but it reminds her that some people could have been hurt. “Is there anyone seriously injured?”

“Nothing life threatening, but probably a third of the group doesn’t have tents now. Some of the fabric can be salvaged, but it’s going to be too difficult to sort through it in the dark. I’m thinking of giving everyone the option of sleeping outside or crowding into the remaining tents? All of the kids with tents have to take on at least one tentless person.” Clarke’s mind tries to poke holes in the plan, knowing that everything that can go wrong probably will. The main issue she can see is that temper will flare up with the overcrowding, but maybe they can use that to encourage them to work faster at scavenging the remaining materials and making proper shelters. 

“Sounds good.” Clarke says when she comes to the conclusion that even though it’s not a great plan, it’s the best they’ve got, “But we shouldn’t be exempt either. Tempers are going to be running hot as it is, we don’t want anyone thinking we’re better than them. I’ll sort out the female lodgings if you take the males, okay? And tell them to put water on their burns.”

Bellamy nods and they head off in opposite directions, sorting people into groups and pairing up those who still have a shelter with those who don’t. Clarke looks at the thankfully small group of girls who don’t have anywhere to sleep that night and picks the one that she thinks she’ll hate sharing a tent with the least.

“Raven, you’ll be with me. Octavia, you’ll bunk with Tasha.” As she names them, the girls split away from the group, everyone desperate to get some sleep after the dramatic day they’ve had. 

In the end it’s just her and Raven left standing in the clearing, vaguely watching Bellamy try to calm down guys who don’t want to sleep in the same tent as certain people. Clarke’s suddenly glad that not only did the girls have their tent further away from the smoke shack, for the most part, they’re also less inclined to fight amongst themselves in the wake of a disaster. Many of them can’t stand each other on a normal day, but somehow coming close to death seems to have allowed them to put that aside for the night. Either that or Clarke will wake up to bloody fights in the female tents. She decides that now is not the time to worry about that and turns to Raven.

“Come on, let’s go get some rest. Morning comes way too soon.”

“Mmn.” Raven just grunts in response, clearly exhausted. 

They stumble to Clarke’s tent and fall inside, neither of them caring at that point about changing or following Clarke’s own advice to treat their burns. They end up sharing the bed by virtue of the fact that Clarke passes out as soon as she lays down and Raven trips, falls on top of Clarke, and can’t muster the energy to rise again. They sleep soundly in a pile of smoke imbued limbs late into the next day.

Clarke wakes up first, feeling far too warm for comfort and highly confused as to why it seems like there’s a large animal sitting on her back. She shifts slightly and the beast clings to her and let's out a soft, feminine sigh, revealing its identity. She tries not to think about how good the other girl feels pressed up against her as she attempts to wake Raven. 

"Ray. Come on, get up." Her pleading tone and continued attempts to free herself only earn her an annoyed hum, as Raven cuddles her more. Who would have guessed the fierce engineer was such a softie?

"Raaaven, get off of me!" Clarke laughs lightly at the sleeping girl. Eventually her struggles work and Raven rolls off of her with a grunt, cuddling one of the furs instead of Clarke. Clarke sighs and sets to the task of actually waking Raven up, now that she’s no longer trapped beneath her.

“You have to get up, there’s work to do.” She shakes Raven’s shoulder firmly.

“Fiiiiine.” Raven’s voice is rough with sleep as she rolls over to face Clarke. Her hair is a mess, there’s ash clinging to her skin, and her eyes are still half hooded with sleep, but in that moment Clarke is struck by how beautiful the other girl is. There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of Raven’s lips that Clarke can’t help but return, some emotion that is warm and pure rising within her.

“It’s not fair. Your bed is so much comfier than mine, and now I have to leave it.” Raven sticks her bottom lip out in a pout and Clarke’s gaze is immediately drawn to it. She feels her cheeks heat in a light blush and turns away from the bed quickly, hoping Raven didn’t pick up on it.

Clarke begins to pull off her fire-marked clothes, desperate to have something touching her skin that doesn’t reek of sweat and smoke. She strips down to her underwear quickly before searching for her change of clothes in the chaos that is the floor of her tent. A quick glance over her shoulder reveals Raven staring at her, lips slightly parted. She turns her gaze back to the search as a pleasant shiver runs through her at the thought of Raven’s eyes on her.

Clarke knows, objectively, that women can be attracted to each other. It was never something she had experienced herself, but it wasn’t something she had ruled out either. But the way that her pulse and breathing are reacting to the images her mind is supplying oh so readily of Raven is something she’s familiar with. Just she has no idea what to do about it.

She finds a small stack of clothes in the corner and turns triumphantly to Raven, who immediately looks at anything in the tent except for Clarke. Clarke hands her a cleaner top and pair of pants than the ones she’s currently wearing and begins to pull on the garments she’d selected for herself.

“Figure you should be able to fit my stuff, mostly.” Clarke says in way of explanation as Raven stares blankly at the fabric in her hands. She shakes her head after a moment and mutters out a “Thanks”.

Clarke sits on the edge of the bed to tie her shoes as Raven stands up and begins to change. Her eyes were focused on the laces in her fingers and she was going through the motions of looping the strings together, but when Raven pulled her shirt off and Clarke’s movements stilled. Her gaze traces hungrily over Raven’s skin, smooth and so much darker than her own. She sees the lean muscles beneath it, testament to the physical labour Raven has done all her life. 

Raven clears her throat and Clarke’s eyes shoot up to see a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her face. She turns bright red and focuses on tying her shoes again, stammering out an apology.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Raven scoffs dismissively, “Just maybe ask next time you want to ogle me, huh?”

“I-I wasn’t- I mean…” Clarke trails off as Raven lets out a laugh that makes Clarke’s stomach perform acrobatics.

“I was just kidding, your Highness, lighten up a little.” Clarke smiles hesitantly, confused and flustered but definitely not immune to the contagion that is Raven’s good mood.

“Why are you in such a good mood, anyway?” Raven had lost most of her stuff in the fire last night, Clarke can’t imagine why she’s suddenly cracking jokes.

“No point being in a bad mood. We’re alive, death isn’t looming on the horizon as far as I know. Plus, your bed is _really_ comfy. Best sleep I’ve had in ages, that was.” Raven finishes pulling on the clothes that do fit her, thankfully, and ducks her head to leave the tent, throwing one last comment over her shoulder, “And I woke up next to a gorgeous girl. Who wouldn’t be happy at that?”

The wink and smile that come with that comment forces Clarke to take a moment to compose herself. She has no idea if Raven’s just joking around, or if she wants her to be joking around. Part of Clarke is very vividly in favour of the concept of being with Raven, but another part of her is hesitant. She’s never been with a girl before, and that has the potential to complicate everything needlessly. Raven needs to respect her decisions as leader, and Clarke needs to be able to be objective about the other girl. Plus, if Raven is just joking around, Clarke doesn’t want to screw up their friendship.

She sighs and finishes lacing up her boots, pushing the quandary out of her mind in favour of more important things like damage control and rebuilding the damaged camp. Clarke immediately starts organizing teams for water collection once she sees that Bellamy is directing reconstruction of shelters. 

The first team heads out, armed with tanks to carry water back from the stream in, and then people fall on Clarke, wanting her to inspect every scrape and bruise and burn they sustained the previous night. She suppresses the urge to tell everyone that they’re fine and they should go back to work. Instead, she smiles and starts to work her way through the crowd of paranoid teens, handing out seaweed tea to anyone who has moderately deep injuries. Everyone else gets the advice of “Keep it clean.” and a friendly pat on the back as she sends them back to their assigned tasks.

“Here, have a cup of….” Clarke goes to pour some more seaweed tea for the boy in front of her, but comes up empty. Of course she’s run out. “You know what? It’s actually not that bad. Just keep it clean and covered.”

She smiles at him and watches some of the tension drain from his face. It’s astonishing how much these people trust her word. Thankfully, he was the last worried delinquent waiting on her, so Clarke heads out to collect more seaweed. Even though that boy didn’t really need it, she can’t be sure when they will need its healing properties again.

The forest is calm and safe, now that they have a truce with the Grounders. Clarke allows her mind to wander, grabbing hold of the rare opportunity where she’s not a leader. It flits about aimlessly, until it settles upon a topic she had hoped to avoid entirely. Raven. She sighs when the image of the other girl pops unbidden into her mind’s eye, and decides that she might as well try to sort things out a little.

Her mind runs in circles, telling her that she should go for it and then explaining why she really shouldn’t do that. She’s attracted to Raven, sure, but relationships complicate everything. Not for the first time, Clarke wishes she was a little more like Bellamy, who seems to be able to just have sex for fun and not get involved. Unfortunately that’s not her. 

There’s also the issue of what the others in the camp would think. No matter the gender of her partner, they would be under scrutiny just as much as Clarke is on a daily basis. Her decision in who to fool around with effects more than just her, these days, because it’s a reflection of what she values in a person. And her values are, to a certain extent, the values of the camp, due to her influence over it.

Her feet crunch through the leaves and dirt, guiding her to the river on autopilot. Clarke should be paying more attention to the world around her, but it doesn’t seem that necessary. So when a cold drop of water manages to fall right on the tip of her nose, Clarke is more startled than she should have been. She jumps and clings to a tree as her heartbeat climbs, before letting out a shaky laugh at herself.

The rain’s onset is sudden, like always. One minute overcast, the next a torrential downpour. Clarke loves the rain, she just wishes that this particular storm would have broken yesterday. Then maybe the damages wouldn’t have been quite as extensive. She catches herself being frustrated with the weather and stops that thought process, laughing lightly at how ridiculous it is. She sits on the ground beneath the tree, slightly more sheltered than the area around it, wanting to wait out the first, and usually worst, few minutes of the shower.

Staring at the water dripping through the canopy, Clarke comes to a conclusion about her relationship with Raven. It’s the purity of the raindrops, the simple scent of the forest drinking in the liquid, the sound of drops falling on leaves. It all speaks to her of simplicity, of a world uncomplicated by the intricacies of human society and technology. Clarke wants that simplicity, craves it in a primal sense. And for things to be simple, she has to be open about what she wants.

The rain lets up after a little while, and Clarke completes her journey feeling much lighter. Tonight, she’ll talk to Raven. Whatever happens will happen, and she’ll deal with it.

\--

Clarke’s nerves return somewhat through the remainder of the day, as her opportunity to talk to Raven in the privacy of their now shared tent draws closer. She knows it’s something she has to do, though, if she has any shot at clearing the thoughts that have been distracting her all day. Of Raven naked, everything revealed to Clarke. Ideas on how to make Raven feel good, how to draw sweet moans and whimpers from her. Thoughts of Clarke kissing Raven and being shot down. Her mind fills in every scenario, and Clarke desperately needs to be able to focus on her work again.

So she runs through the conversation in her mind, how she’ll open the topic. What she’ll say, the wording and inflection specifically chosen to place no pressure on Raven, merely to inform her of what Clarke’s feeling. She runs through every possible reply she could imagine from the other girl. After a hastily scarfed down dinner, Clarke returns to the tent to change and await Raven’s return.

As it happens, fate conspires to make all of her mental preparedness pointless. Clarke is in the process of removing her bra for the sake of being slightly more comfortable when she sleeps tonight when she hears a rustle of fabric behind her, followed by a sigh. She grabs her discarded t-shirt from the ground and spins, ready to lash out at whoever entered her tent without announcing themselves. She blushes at the sight of Raven’s eyes roaming over her pale skin.

“Dammnit, Clarke.” Raven passes by her and throws herself face down on the bed, “I’m gonna have to find another tent to stay in.”

Clarke’s brow furrows in confusion at this. She hasn’t even told Raven about her feelings, why would she have to leave already?

“Why?” Clarke figures the best way to find out is to ask. She pulls the shirt over her head and perches on the edge of the bed next to Raven.

“Well, it’s probably just because of the proximity and the whole being single for the first time in forever, so don’t hate me for this, kay? It’s just, with you… Well, you make it so hard to hold myself back!” Clarke’s heart jumps painfully at those words, at the idea that Raven wants her just as much as she wants Raven. The other girl is still hiding her face in the furs, which Clarke is thankful for, because it means she can’t see the stupid grin on Clarke’s face. She takes a deep breath and manages to get the grin down to a small smile before replying.

“Why are you holding back?” Raven sits bolt upright at those words from Clarke, twisting to look Clarke dead in the eyes.

“Are you messing with me right now?” Suspicion suffuses Raven’s voice, and Clarke quickly shakes her head.

“No. I like you Raven. I’ve always thought of you as a friend, but recently - really recently - I’ve been thinking about you, um…. Differently. I was worried you would be creeped out if I told you, but I was going to tell you tonight, I promise. I don’t want to mess things up between us, but I also don’t want to hide anything from you.” Clarke cuts herself off before she starts rambling any worse, watching as a smirk forms on Raven’s lips.

“Really? So the Princess wants the Mechanic, huh?” Raven sounds so self-satisfied, causing Clarke to roll her eyes.

“Yeah sure, however you want to put it.” And Clarke’s eyes are drawn again to the curve of Raven’s lips in a smile. But this time, she doesn’t have to control herself. So she turns her body to fully face the other girl, leans forward, and presses her lips against Raven’s.

It’s hesitant for the barest second, for that heartbeat before Raven catches up with what’s happening. Even that moment of stillness is beautiful to Clarke, the feeling of Raven lips so soft against her own. Then it changes, lips and hands moving against each other. Raven’s hands are possessive, pulling Clarke to her and tilting her head in order to kiss her even deeper. Clarke, in contrast, is exploratory with her touches, finger roaming lightly over Raven’s exposed skin until she’s mapped it all. Raven’s mouth breaks from Clarke’s and moves down her neck, trailing confident kisses over her skin until she reaches the collar of Clarke’s shirt and lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Clothes off?” Clarke asks, her fingers already sliding underneath Raven’s shirt, impatient to feel every inch of the other girl.

“Clothes off.” Raven immediately pulls off Clarke’s shirt, and they disentangle just long enough to shed the rest of their clothes. It occurs to Clarke that throwing their clothing on the ground isn’t going to help the tent get any cleaner, but then Raven’s hands ghost over her breasts in a teasing touch and all coherent thought flees from her mind as her breath catches in her throat.

“Beautiful.” It’s a reverent whisper from Raven, almost a sigh. Clarke doesn’t feel self-conscious under her gaze, she feels just as beautiful as Raven finds her. She feels strong and powerful, because this amazing woman desires her.

Then Raven flicks her tongue over one nipple as she gently plays with the other, and Clarke just feels good. Raven’s mouth claims her skin, drawing light sighs from Clarke as she tangles her fingers in Raven’s dark hair. She shifts slightly and gasps as her sensitive slit contacts with Raven’s thigh. The other girl grins wickedly against her skin and grabs Clarke by the hips to reposition her. 

“This’ll feel even better,” Raven moves her head to whisper in Clarke’s ear, the heat of her breath on Clarke’s skin mirrored by the heat those words cause inside of her. Clarke lets Raven reposition her legs, intertwining them and sliding forward to grind their pussies together. It’s hard and dirty, and Clarke chokes back a moan as she finally gets the friction she’s been craving. She grabs one of Raven’s legs and uses it to pull the other girl more firmly against her as she rolls her hips. Raven does let out a moan at that, full-bodied and so incredibly sexy that Clarke finds out she can, apparently, be more turned on than previously thought possible.

Their hips grind together in a filthy dance, keeping rhythm to their own pounding hearts and heavy breaths. Raven’s head is thrown back in ecstasy, and Clarke feasts her eyes upon the long line of her neck, leading down to perky breasts and further to where Clarke’s own pale skin is pressed against Raven’s. As good as the slick movement of Raven against her is, Clarke wants more. She wants to draw those moans out of Raven again, wants to taste her. So she breaks away from Raven, whimpering slightly as the loss of heat and stimulation. 

“Clarke, what-- oh!” Raven begins to scold Clarke for stopping, but Clarke cuts her off by parting her pussy lips with her tongue, savouring Raven’s juices. 

Clarke doesn’t really know what to do, so she does something completely unfamiliar to her. She shuts off all reasoning parts of her mind and allows instinct to guide her. Well, instinct and the reactions from Raven. She learns that the inside of Raven’s thigh is ticklish, and stores that information away for the future. Clarke experiments, tracing patterns against the soft skin of Raven’s lips to see what draws the best noises from her lover.

She drags her tongue in long, broad strokes over Raven’s inner lips, getting soft sighs. She gets adorable surprised gasps when she flicks the tip of her tongue over Raven’s clit, which round out into moans when she sucks on it lightly. Raven’s fingers grab at Clarke’s hair, pressing her more firmly into place between Raven’s thighs. She inhales deeply, allowing the mingled scent and taste of Raven’s arousal to heighten her own.

“Fuck, Clarke.” Raven moans her name, and damn if it isn’t the sexiest thing Clarke’s ever heard.

“Hmm?” Clarke hums without breaking her mouth from Raven’s pussy, causing Raven to moan again.

“Could you maybe…” Raven pants out between gasps, “put a finger in me?”

She sounds so hesitant in her request, as if she’s afraid Clarke will take offense to it. To the contrary, Clarke loves Raven asking her to do things, communicating her desires. So she shifts her mouth’s attention to primarily Raven’s clit and slides a finger in beneath her chin, smiling at the satisfied moan that leaves Raven’s lips. She crooks her finger while pumping it in and out, sliding in a second as she increases her pace in accordance with Raven’s quickening breaths.

Clarke wants to slip a hand between her own legs, to work on satisfying the burning desire within herself, but Raven’s hands clutching wildly at her head make it difficult to want to break her focus on her current task at all. So she doesn’t, enjoying making Raven fall apart far too much. She searches within Raven for a spot that she knows will feel oh so good. She finds it and curls her fingers against it, drawing a string of curses from Raven that only spur her on more. She speeds her tongue and fingers, encouraged by all the signs of Raven’s impending climax.

“Fucking shit, Clarke!” Raven cries out and clenches around Clarke’s fingers. Clarke slows her movements and gently licks and strokes Raven through her orgasm, pride unfurling in her chest. She managed to do that, to make Raven fall apart. When the hands finally leave the back of her head, Clarke removes her hand and sits up, bringing her slicked fingers to her mouth and licking Raven’s juices off of them.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” Raven murmurs, grabbing Clarke and flipping her so she’s laying on the bed instead of Raven. Clarke squeaks in surprise at the sudden movement, but she doesn’t complain when she feels agile fingers dancing against her pussy. She tries to grind against Raven’s hand, desperate for relief, but the fingers withdraw at her movement.

“Impatient, huh?” Raven grins cockily, pressing her lips to Clarke’s and dragging their tongues together, tasting herself via Clarke.

“Please, Raven.” She whimpers, too horny to feel even remotely ashamed for how close to begging she is. Hell, if she has to, she _will_ beg for it at this point.

“Damn, you’re adorable.” Raven mates their lips together again and returns the hand to Clarke’s cunt, slipping two fingers easily within her and dragging her thumb over Clarke’s clit. Her hand move at a punishing pace, but Clarke loves it, craving the pressure and the drag of flesh over sensitive nerves. Raven swallows the whimpers and moans against Clarke’s lips, her hand never slowing in its movements until Clarke breaks her lips away from Raven’s, to throw her head back in a silent shout as her orgasm rips through her.

Raven’s fingers do slow, then, coaxing her down from the high of her climax. When Clarke’s muscles relax, Raven lays down next to her, snuggling up against her regardless of the fact that it’s far too warm for that. Clarke doesn’t mind, not really. 

“So…” The other girl muses against the bare skin of Clarke’s shoulder, “This means I get to sleep in the bed right?”

Clarke lets out a laugh and half rolls in Raven’s arms to wrap her own around Raven, “That’s the only reason you want me?”

“It’s a really comfy bed!” 

They laugh together and fall asleep in each other’s arms, content to find comfort and pleasure in the other girl’s embrace. For now, life is good.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is for [wildone](http://thewildone01.tumblr.com), who is my Princess Mechanic soulmate <3 It took me so long because I swore I wouldn't kill anyone off, ~~and I'm super lazy~~. Edited by the smut suggesting [coldsaturn](http://coldsaturn.tumblr.com), who you can all thank for the scissoring. That came out strange....
> 
> As always, come yell at me [on tumblr!](http://randommaces.tumblr.com) Thanks in advance for commenting/viewing/leaving kudos, ily all <3


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